Cheapo-Veterinary 1.800.DEA.DPET
We're so Cheapo that your pet may not survive

(Dr. Scratch-n-Sniff says, "This website is opinion based and for entertainment purposes only!")

                                                                                                                                            

 


 

About Us

                                                                                                                      

Now serving the greater Seattle area including: Lynnwood, Bellevue, Seattle, Renton, Kent, Auburn, Burien, Tacoma, Olympia, Shoreline, Fairwood, Des Moines, Seatac, Normandy Park, Tukwila, Burien, Covington, Maple Valley, Black Diamond, Federal Way, Enumclaw, Newcastle, & Fife

 

The part that we don't tell you is that, because we're all about lower overhead & cost savings, your pet could be in life threatening danger. We're proud to cut corners on your pet to save money. Our surgeries are Cheapo because:

  • We rarely if ever use the proper "Pre-anesthesia" medicines to help your pet get sleepy prior to anesthesia. We simply manhandle them, by the utilization of unqualified staff forcibly restraining your pet, (while it's in a state of panic) until it hyperventilates or gags down enough anesthetic gas to finally fall over so we can get started with surgery. 
  • Our doctors & staff are well qualified & trained to lie to clients about how their pet is treated while in our custody. After all we wouldn't want the truth to get out about how we really do things because our pay checks depend on it. 
  • We never use post-operative pain control after a major surgery because your pet can't really tell you it's in pain now can it? Plus, your pet isn't my pet so after it goes home who really cares anyway?
  • At Cheapo-Vet we don't have properly qualified staff monitoring your pet's vital signs during surgery. It doesn't really matter because we don't even own the proper monitoring equipment to start with!  Shhhh... Don't tell anyone.... It's a Cheapo Vet trade secret.
  • Your pet will go home the same day still "drunk" from anesthesia. This way when something goes wrong we can blame you for it. But hey, we're saving you a few dollars so it must be worth it right!?
  • Like most other discount providers, we are a high volume, low cost clinic, and your pet will get the low cost Cheapo care that you've selected.
  • We never provide an e-collar to go home unless you want to pay extra for it. Just another cost savings that we provide here at Cheapo-vet. This way when your pet does lick or chew the surgical site because it's uncomfortable, we can blame that on you too. 

One of the ways that we save money here at Cheapo Vet is that we don’t pay our taxes or insurance. It’s Cheaper to just bankrupt the Cheapo Vet entity and reopen under a different discount name tomorrow. “Hey boys and girls help us think of some other discount names that we can use next month when we get sued by an employee or client. How many can you name?” Please submit them on the contact us page of our website. (Hacks for Less, Value Tards, Afford-A-Feeble, Discount Doofus, Jiffy Vet, Joke in the Box, you get the idea.)

Here are a few other areas that Cheapo-Vet doesn't tell our clients about the difference between the discount provider and most other regular full service veterinary facilities: Teeth Cleaning, Ear, Eye, Skin issues.... Read on to find out more.